Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Freaking Time!

That's right, I'm upset at time. It's kind of like money, in fact, some people would argue that it *is* money, while others would argue that it is not, but that's another topic for another day. For the purpose of this illustration, time is like money in that there is enough in the world for everyone to have what they need, yet somehow we never seem to have enough. There is always someone hoarding way more than they could possibly need or even use, causing all sorts of problems for everyone else.

Perhaps this will change if I were to one day get that time machine I keep asking Santa for, but so far he has been stingy... or I have been naughty... one of the two. So in the meantime, I will resort to complaining about it, knowing it won't make anything actually better, it will just make me feel better.

So the other day, I was thinking about how I never seem to have enough time, and I heard the Ice Cream Man drive by. This got me wondering: "What the heck does the Ice Cream Man do with his time?". Surely he is not Ice Cream Manning all day. Does he have another job, and only twilight's as an Ice Cream Man? That got me pondering other aspects of the Ice Cream Man as well. Like, how do Ice Cream Men decide jurisdictions? Is there some sort of Ice Cream Man Cartel that divides up the areas? What are the consequences for violating the family's rules? Is there an unruly gang of people walking around with hairdryers, ready to melt your stock and leave your hair with that "just woke up" look? "Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.... It's a message from don Rocky Road... don't ever go against the family. Also, you should consider an oil treatment for those split ends." Or maybe he spends his spare time worrying about the effect of the rising cost of gas on his business? Those trucks get a gallon per mile at best. Is the dream of a 50c rocket pop just another casualty of the ongoing fuel crisis? Will my daughter have to choose between chasing the Ice Cream Man down the street or going to college? Are rhetorical questions still all the rage? If Al Gore *cough*money grubbing personal agenda pusher*cough* is to be believed global warming will soon make the Ice Cream Man as much of a necessity as the doctor and cable television. Can you imagine what it will be like when it is 173 degrees outside, and the Ice Cream Man is nowhere to be found?

But who knows... this could all be a bunch of malarkey. In the end, the only thing that is mostly certain is death, which ironically, still will not stop time. Time will march on without us without a care in the world. Time does not worry about the impending global warming crisis, the failing economy, or the Ice Cream Man because because it is the root of carefree ignorance through forgetting. Always hording itself for itself, not leaving enough for the rest of us. And for that I hate it.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

I just read this, and I want my Minute-fifty-seven back.